Who am I?
I could try to answer by going on about my life story (what I remember/know of it), giving a bunch of blurbs and statistics -- my name, date of birth, place of residence...my ancestry...but it might not be enough. I could pick out a favorite color, tell you my astrological sign according to at least four different systems, tell you what they mean about me and where I agree or disagree. I could go on about my interests, I could give out random factoids about things I know, I could take an x-ray of my body and put up the scans.
Still, it might not be enough.
Generally, my answer to "Who am I?" is "I don't know." I know my name and I sort of have a general idea of my interests and history, but truthfully, I don't know. I don't know for sure what kind of person I am. And even if I did, what makes me me? What, in essence, am I? Who, in essence, am I? And the ever-fun follow-ups, why? how??
The more I think about it, the more I ruminate on my existence and its purpose or lack thereof, whether I try to look inward or outward for the answer, the more confused I become. The more questions I have over pretty shaky answers.
I think I have an idea of things, but I do not know. And not knowing, quite frankly, bothers me. Not truly knowing myself. Not truly knowing the world. Not truly knowing...anything, perhaps.
Some people seem to find their answer pretty quickly. Some find it in themselves. Some find it in their culture. Some find it in their religion. A hobby. A job. A person. That, or they find that resonates with them, go "this is good enough for me" and carry on, having whatever it is they have as their answer.
Or maybe I'm just strange in my thirst for this "answer." Maybe my wiring doesn't add up to 42 somehow, or maybe I want to know why 42. I don't know if everyone has that same itch.
In any event, I don't know the meaning of myself or the world or life.
And I want to find out.
